The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize