What did we do last night that was yellow?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
