he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wear drunk well.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
