Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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