I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
