I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
