That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
