but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
