Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
