it wasn't lemon gatorade
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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