Ambien. No doubt about it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
