so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
