I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
