I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize