And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
