in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
