he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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