Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
