You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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