is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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