First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
