Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
