Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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