My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
