I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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