Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
