just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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