wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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