The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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