I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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