He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
