But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
