Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
