How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
