When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
