You just made me feel so damn special
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
