At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
whose parrot is this?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
