I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
