ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Randomize
