Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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