Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
