I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
