i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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