i always forget guys have bellybuttons
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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