similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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