I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
