The maid of honor just puked.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
