Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
