So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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