I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
