And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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