Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
