He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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