He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
