gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
