Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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